


This school is going to be in ruins after 4 years

by AetherF1ow



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comedy, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24276337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AetherF1ow/pseuds/AetherF1ow
Summary: Rayquaza: I'm going to murder someone by the time we graduateRaikou: I think i only need to say three wordsRaikou: kyogre and groudonRayquaza:@DialgaHow the fuck do you deal with your twin and your younger brotherDialga: I don't
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. *glocks* "I'm going to slaughter a bitch" -  Groudon

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'll get the relationships out of the way now
> 
> The Beast Trio are all cousins 
> 
> Weather Trio are as follows:
> 
> Rayquaza is the older brother of Kyogre and Groudon, who are fraternal twins
> 
> The Creation Trio are as follows:
> 
> Dialga and Palkia are fraternal twins, with Giratina being the younger brother 
> 
> The Tao Trio are all cousins, but Kyurem is the older cousin
> 
> The Aura Trio are all cousins
> 
> Solgaleo and Lunala are siblings 
> 
> The Tapu's are all siblings

**Welcome to College, idiots**

Rayquaza: Why the hell did my younger brothers decide to come to the same college as me

Palkia: I'm sorry, what?

Rayquaza: I understand why Groudon's here, since he's studying the earth and all, but Kyogre is basically an Olympic swimmer.

Suicune: Just because Kyogre is a good swimmer does not mean he's going to be an Olympic Swimmer.

Ho-Oh: the wise words of Suicune 

Suicune: ////////

Entei: woah i thought suicune was incapable of being flustered 

Entei: **@Raikou** get in here our cousin is flustered

Raikou: i heard the magic words

Dialga: Imma let the new comers I know into the chat hold on

**Dialga has added Kyogre, Groudon, Giratina, and 7 others.**

Reshiram: I've been here for a grand total of 2 hours, and I'm already in a fucking group chat.

Kyurem: Language 

Xerneas: Holy god, he just came in to say that 

Zekrom: Kyurem is basically Dad #2 for us 

Reshiram: And I fucking hate it.

Kyurem: Language

Reshiram: OH MY GOD 

Kyogre: Where's the holy water, I need to splash Satan out of my twin.

Kyogre: **@Rayquaza** Do you know where the fuck the holy water is?

Rayquaza: Kyogre no

Kyogre: The tiny dick bitch slapped me.

Rayquaza: 

Rayquaza: There's a church down the street

Kyogre: Thank you.

Yveltal: i wake up to this

Yveltal: xerneas this wasnt worth it 

Xerneas: I see a tall man with red hair storming around, telling for a 'blue- haired bimbo'

Xerneas: What should I do?

Rayquaza: Don't tell him where said bimbo went if he asks

Xerneas: Alright 

Groudon: you know I can read the chat right 

Rayquaza: Shit 

Groudon:

Groudon: *glocks*

Rayquaza: S H I T

Groudon: Imma go slaughter a bitch hold on

Lunala: OI GROUDON

Groudon: Lunala hold on i need to slaughter my twin

Lunala: WE'RE ROOMATES 

Rayquaza: WHAT

Solgaleo: WHAT 

Groudon: Y E S

Lunala: **@Kyogre** I just extended your lifespan by 3 minutes, you're welcome 

Kyogre: Fuck you, I didn't need your help 

Groudon: W H A T

Lunala: I lied

Solgaleo: LUNALA

Lunala: :^>

Dialga: **@Giratina** Bro come on there's blood and chaos

Giratina: I heard blood and chaos

Palkia: Just chaos right now 

Giratina: Dialga you're dead to me 

Mewtwo: Guys.

Rayquaza: Do I even want to know

Mewtwo: Do you know a tall red head, and a slightly shorter blue head

Rayquaza: Yes

Mewtwo: They're in the middle of trying to murder eachother.

Mewtwo: Surprisingly enough, the short one is winning.

Suicune: From what I have heard, it is not that uncommon for Kyogre to beat up Groudon.

Rayquaza: This is why I'm hiring baby sitters

Palkia: Giratina needs a job

Giratina: What-

Rayquaza: Giratina you're Kyogre and Groudon's baby sitter now 

Giratina: Fuck you Palkia

Rayquaza: Be right back I need to beat someone sense into those two

Reshiram: First day of College.

Reshiram: By the time we graduate, this entire school is going to be in absolute ruins.

Zekrom: I know I don't say this often but 

Zekrom: Amen Brother


	2. "Mom, Cobalion hates me ;w;" - Keldeo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Days since Kyogre and Groudon last fought and atleast one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [5]**
> 
> Tapu Koko: Whoever posted that can change the number to 0, they fought in the dorms last night and Ray broke a finger.
> 
> **Giratina has change the group name to 'Days since Kyogre and Groudon last fought and atleast one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [0]**
> 
> Kyogre: Granted, it was Groudon who broke Ray's finger.
> 
> Groudon: YOU FUCKING BITCH
> 
> Keldeo: what does fuck mean?
> 
> Virizion: Groudon, i'd suggest you start getting your brothers to pay for your funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't make genders clear for the most part last chapter, so here you go
> 
> Males:  
> Literally everyone but Marshadow and the females listed below.
> 
> Females:  
> Mew  
> Cresselia  
> Virizion  
> Xerneas  
> Lunala  
> Tapu Lele  
> Tapu Fini  
> Zacain
> 
> Marshadow will be classified as a 'they/them'

**Days since Kyogre and Groudon last fought and atleast one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [5]**

Tapu Koko: Whoever posted that can change the number to 0, they fought in the dorms last night and Ray broke a finger.

**Giratina has change the group name to 'Days since Kyogre and Groudon last fought and atleast one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [0]**

Kyogre: Granted, it was Groudon who broke Ray's finger.

Groudon: YOU FUCKING BITCH

Keldeo: what does fuck mean?

Virizion: Groudon, i'd suggest you start getting your brothers to pay for your funeral.

Groudon: Kyogre help

Kyogre: Perish.

Tapu Lele: who's cooking bacon

Tapu Lele: **@Tapu Koko**

Tapu Koko: That ain't me.

Tapu Lele: but bulu's still sleeping

Tapu Koko: Did you check Fini's room?

Tapu Lele:

Tapu Lele: **@Tapu Fini** sis where the bacon at

Tapu Fini: I'm cooking sausages.

Tapu Lele: aw damn

Virizion: Back to what Groudon said...

Groudon: ma'am it was an honest mistake i'm sorry

Virizion: **@Cobalion, @Terrakion** Our son was exposed to the naughty word.

Cobalion: Which one?

Virizion: Scroll up.

Terrakion: IM GOING TO KILL HIM

Groudon: **@Kyogre, @Rayquaza** GUYS COME ON HELP ME OUT

Kyogre: I'm going to go get coffee, how do you take yours?

Groudon: black

Rayquaza: Decaf

Rayquaza: Don't go without a friend

Kyogre: Why? Because i'm basically a celebrity?

Rayquaza: Exactly.

Kyogre: **@Giratina** If you come with me to the nearby cafe, i'll get you a coffee on the house.

Giratina: I drink tea

Kyogre: The offer still stands.

Giratina: Be there in 5

Groudon: wait a minute

Groudon: AREN'T YOU TWO GONNA HELP ME OUT WITH THIS

Rayquaza: I'll only help if they break down our door

Kyogre: Fucking perish.

Groudon: you both suck >:(

Kyogre: You suck dick.

Groudon: DO YOU WANT A BROKEN ARM

Kyogre: Do you want your coffee?

Groudon: yes

Virizion: What was that exchange?

Cobalion: No idea.

Keldeo: hey dad #2

Cobalion: Not now Keldeo.

Keldeo: **@Virizion** Mom, Cobalion hates me ;w;

Virizion: Not now, Keldeo.

Keldeo: does my whole family hate me ;w;

Terrakion: no we don't hate you son

Terrakion: maybe cobalion

Cobalion: Shut it.

Terrakion: we're getting ready to murder groudon so hold on

Keldeo: oh okay

Groudon: WAIT YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT

Giratina: **@Dialga, @Palkia** Coffee?

Dialga: This is a prank so no

Giratina: Shit i tried

Rayquaza: Hey Swords of Justice, just don't break down my door okay

Virizion: Of course.

Groudon: RAY COME ON

Rayquaza: You broke my finger this is payback

Groudon: nOOOOOO

**Days since Kyogre and Groudon last fought and atleast one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [0]**

Kyogre: Why do I hear screaming?

Giratina: Dunno the chat was deleted when i last checked it

Kyogre: **@Rayquaza** Hey, I got Groudon his coffee. Where is he?

Rayquaza: He's in the infirmary

Kyogre: What the fuck.

Keldeo: my parents beat the shit out of him

Virizion: K E L D E O !

Keldeo: lol get smoked mom

Cobalion: For the last time, we are not your parents!

Keldeo: whoops

Palkia: I sleep in and this happens

Palkia: Someone spill the tea

Rayquaza: **@Tapu Koko** I know you were ghosting through that the whole time spill the tea to Palkia

Tapu Koko: Shit.

Tapu Koko: Well, you see, it started with me mentioning that Kyogre and Groudon fought this morning and broke Ray's finger.

Palkia: Oh god here we go


	3. "WHY THE FUCK DID KYOGRE POUR COFFEE ON ME?" - Groudon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Groudon: **@Rayquaza** I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN
> 
> Rayquaza: Perish 
> 
> Suicune: I just witnessed Kyogre sprinting out of the Infirmary at an alarming speed. Care to elaborate?
> 
> Groudon: THE BITCH POURED COFFEE ON ME
> 
> Kyogre: I'm not a bitch.
> 
> Kyogre: We're all bastards.

**Days since Kyogre and Groudon fought and at least one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [0]**

Suicune: I log on this morning to see absolute chaos.

Reshiram: Welcome to the blissful world of sleeping in.

Suicune: Thank you. I hate it.

Yveltal: for once waking up was worth it 

Xerneas: That's why you should stop pulling all nighters.

Yveltal: ...

Yveltal: nah 

Lunala: Yes that's my job you job stealer

Zekrom: I literally witnessed you stealing coffee from the cafeteria the other day because you said you were so fucking tired

Lunala: It's not stealing if it's free

Raikou: er the coffee aint free

Lunala: Well shit

Solgaleo: how did you NOT know that

Lunala: Does it look like I buy lunch from the cafeteria

Zekrom: In all fairness, yes

Lunala: Stfu Zekrom

Reshiram: Bitch, whatchu say? Whatchu say?

Lunala: I said whoever threw that paper, your mom's a HOE

Kyurem: Watch your profanity **@Reshiram**

Zekrom: Did

Zekrom: Did Kyruem, the biggest boomer in here, just vine

Raikou: yes

Entei: Wow 

Suicune: I am at a loss for words...

Xerneas: I swear I can hear the gears turning in Reshiram and Zekrom's heads right now

Xerneas: And i'm halfway across campus from them

Reshiram: She's not wrong.

Zekrom: I'm so fucking confused

Kyurem: Language

Zekrom: gOD DAMNIT OLD MAN >:(

Kyurem: Excuse you i'm only two years older than you

Reshiram: And qualified Grandfather material.

Kyurem: Shut it

**Days since Kyogre and Groudon fought and at least one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [1]**

Tapu Koko: Welcome to Mondays, we have classes at 7am and I want to d i e .

Kyogre: Noted.

Palkia: What tea did we miss last night

Dialga: What is with you and tea?

Giratina: I may or may not have accidentally made him addicted

Dialga: GIRATINA OH MY GOD

Giratina: Better to be addicted to tea then coffee

Giratina: That was a stab at your family **@Kyogre**

Kyogre: Unlike your family, we were addicted from the start.

Kyogre: It runs in our bloodstream.

Rayquaza: Yep

Kyogre: Speaking of coffee, i'm going for another run. Anyone want anything?

Rayquaza: I already know Groudon wants his coffee

Kyogre: **@Xerneas** I hate Giratina and coffee runs, so do you want to come with?

Xerneas: Sure

Xerneas: Yveltal is a pain in the mornings anyways

Kyogre: Alright. Be back in 10.

**Days since Kyogre and Groudon fought and at least one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [1]**

Groudon: **@Rayquaza** I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN

Rayquaza: Perish 

Suicune: I just witnessed Kyogre sprinting out of the Infirmary at an alarming speed. Care to elaborate?

Groudon: THE BITCH POURED COFFEE ON ME

Kyogre: I'm not a bitch.

Kyogre: We're all bastards.

Rayquaza: Why the hell did you pour coffee on your twin

Kyogre: Because he's annoying.

**Tapu Koko has changed to group name to 'Days since Kyogre and Groudon fought and at least one bystander or Rayquaza got injured [0]**

Tapu Koko: And y'all were actually doing well,

Reshiram: Y'all

Tapu Lele: y'all

Zekrom: Y'all

Entei: Y'all

Raikou: Y'all

Lugia: Y'all

Ho-Oh: Y'all

Suicune: Ah, hello Ho-Oh, Lugia.

Kyogre: Y'all

Lugia: Hello

Ho-Oh: Hello!

Tapu Koko: Wow, I actually got Lugia and Ho-Oh to speak.

Lugia: I hope you are proud

Tapu Koko: I am.

Groudon: THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE

Groudon: **@Cobalion** IF YOUR STUPID ASS TEAM DIDN'T ATTACK ME I WOULDN'T BE IN THE INFIRMARY SMELLING LIKE COFFEE AND BEING WET

Cobalion: You did swear in front of our adopted son.

Groudon: THAT WAS A DAY AGO >:(

Suicune: If it is any justice, I have witnessed Kyogre falling down a flight of stairs.

Groudon: oh thanks suicune

Suicune: I think he broke his arm.

Reshiram:

Reshiram: Karma?

Rayquaza: God fucking damnit, this is the third time this year that Kyogre broke a bone

Groudon: actually make that four times

Groudon: i broke his nose a couple weeks back

Rayquaza:

Rayquaza: You both fucking disappoint me

Suicune: I will call the nurse.

Suicune: Actually, **@Entei, @Raikou** Can Entei come help me with Kyogre, while Raikou goes and gets the nurse?

Entei: Got it

Raikou: on it

Giratina: Holy shit they actually communicate

Dialga: So does Reshiram and Zekrom

Zekrom: If we're talking about a trio as a whole, then we don't get along with Kyruem.

Tapu Koko: As I said about an hour ago.

Tapu Koko: Welcome to Mondays, classes have started, and everyone wants to d i e.

Tapu Lele: you didnt say that

Tapu Koko: Shut it, let me have my moment.

Suicune: About the group name...

Suicune: Who else got injured?

Dialga: Um, Palkia? You've been kinda quiet.

Palkia: Yeah I got bowled over by Kyogre when he was running past

Palkia: For someone with literally no muscle, he can hit like a train

Giratina: Oh my fucking god


End file.
